Do you ever feel silly? So silly that you just want to sit under a table so no one can see you? If you do, I know how you feel, because that is how I feel when my Mistress tells someone my full name.
I'm called Bozo. It is here on my collar for everyone to see. I don’t mind that. But what they do not know is that my full name is… Emperor Bozumptious Suet-Pudding the Third. See what I mean? Now if I were ten times bigger than I am it would not be fine. But to have a name ten times bigger than one is oneself is just plain…silly! Let me tell you what happened the other day.
I was in the Post Office with my Mistress and, as it was Pension day we were standing in quite a long queue, a in front of us stood Nellie with her Mistress. I have seen Nellie lots of times and I must say I do rather like her, but I could never let her know that. She puts her nose in the air and acts very snooty. Then, if one is Pekinese, I suppose one does have a great deal to be snooty about having once been favourite's of the Chinese Emperors. Imagine that! But I never show I'm over impressed, so I too stood with my nose in the air, pretending that I hadn’t noticed her. Then I heard my Mistress say, ”Oh, yes, my little fellow is a pedigree too!” I felt my heart drop, forI knew what was coming next. “His full name is Emperor Bozumptious Suet-Pudding the Third,” she said. Well, everyone in the Post Office turned to look. I felt such a twit. I simply couldn't look in Nellie’s direction. Then, to show everyone just how much she loved me, she bent down and gave my nose a good wipe with her hankie. “He has such a problem with the snuffles, the little dear,” she said. I just wanted to hide myself away!
Then, suddenly, there was a crash of the door, followed by a lot of barking, shouting and shoving, as two boys with a great mangy dog pushed their way into the Post Office. It seems they had come in for a bit of fun and showing off. The dog with them was an awful brute. I had seen him before; he's in a gang who hang about the streets looking very mean and nasty. They always give me the colly-wobbles. Well, this brute sees Nellie, likes what he sees, and shoves me out of the way to take a closer look. He stood over her with his dribbling jaws as if he thought she might like the look of him. Can you believe his nerve? It was plain that Nellie didn’t like him one bit and was even rather afraid of him, and who could blame her. When I saw her discomfort my blood began to rise and I began to quiver from nose to tail. Then, without thinking twice, I bit him hard on his back leg! I've told you how tough my jaw is from chewing loads of ChoppaChews. Boy, did he yelp! I feared he might turn and chew my head clean off but he simply turned tail and scooted clear out of the Post Office! The two boys were ejected pretty smartly after.
Nellie looked at me quite differently after all the fuss had died down. Of course, I acted as if I did that sort of thing quite often. I’m rather looking forward to the next time I see Nellie in the Post Office!
©Ed jones 2006