Gosh, I had a bad experience this morning. I still feel quite shaken up. This is what happened.
There had been a strong wind during the night so I was out in the garden checking for damage. As I got to the bottom fence I almost jumped out of my collar with fright when a ghastly growl came from the other side. After my first shock had passed I gathered up my courage and crept closer. Peeping through a knot-hole, I saw to my horror, a large, red eyeball glaring at me. The growl became more savage still. I sprang back, then forced myself to take a second look: it was the brute from the Post Office incident.
My first thought was to scoot off back to the safety of my basket. But then I thought: no! Why should I? This bully is threatening me in my own garden. What cheek! I decided to stoutly defend my territory.
Taking comfort in the fence I took a deep breath and worked up my best growl. A moments puzzled silence came from the other side, then the brute threw himself in rage at the fence . Not to be outdone, I snaffled at the fence as if trying chew right through it. I grrruffled, grraffled and snaffled. It was an impressive performance.
To bring it to a climax I charged at the fence full tilt. It was a mistake. What happened next happened so quickly that I can hardly explain it. It seems that a plank in the fence was loose in such a way that it opened from the bottom outwards. It let me through like a doorway in a castle wall, then shut firmly behind me. I was on the wild side.
Towering before me was the quivering form of the brute. I blinked up into his slavering jaws: I was done for. I shut my eyes so as not to see what was coming next.
But all I heard was sniggering . I opened my eyes to see another dog: the brute was not alone. This dog was smaller than the brute but even more evil looking. He had a wicked yellow-fanged grin, and it was obvious that the brute was in awe of him. He was the pack leader. The brute backed off and yellow-fang jerked his head to show that I was to go with them. But where to?
Now, I have something rather surprising to tell you at this point: dogs cannot speak to each other. So how is it I am speaking to you? That should be obvious. I have learned people speak. My Mistress always says that I am more human than dog and I agree with her. Dogs get their message across to each other by various means but it is all very basic. This made my plight all the more difficult and dangerous.
We set off down the road. Yellow-fang led the way with me following and the brute breathing down my neck at the rear. I had never before been out without my Mistress and now here I was in the company of these two outlaws. Just how was I going to get out of this mess? I felt very alone.
Yellow-fang halted. We were by a narrow alley alongside some shops. His ears were up and his nose twitched: he had sensed something. With a bound he was into the alley and behind some bins. When he reappeared a kitten dangled from his jaws. He dropped the kitten to the ground in front of me. It got to its feet and began mewing. I looked at the kitten and then at Yellow-fang. He looked at the kitten, then at me then again at the kitten. The brute shoved me towards the ball of mewing fluff. Yellow-fang grinned. Then I realized they were expecting me to attack it! This was my test for gang membership.
The kitten tottered towards me and rubbed its' fur against my leg. It began to purr. I could not harm that little thing! The brute shoved me again so roughly that I fell over. I just lay where I fell. The kitten licked my nose.
Yellow-fang lost patience. With a snarl he gave the brute the nod. The brute lowered his head and leered. I jumped to my feet and put myself between him and the kitten. He would not harm the kitten while I had breath in my body. I growled and showed the brute my ChoppaChew snarl. He crouched, ready to spring. Then an umbrella crashed down on his nose.
"Oh no you don't, you blighter", came the cry. It was Mrs. Noggins from the house opposite to ours.
She swept both me and the kitten up into her mighty arms.
"I'm taking you back where you belong , you little hero", she said, smiling at me.
"And as for you", she said to the kitten, "we will find you a home, I'm sure".
She did. But that is another story.
©Ed jones 2008